I get that Mike Birbiglia does long form jokes or whatever… and that as a result of this style, there aren’t that many of them. But I’ve heard him deliver the story about sleepwalking out of La Quinta too many fucking times.
I wonder what it’s like to be his friend. Do you have to stay quiet for 6+ minutes while he tells jokes?
Weird thing to post late on a Friday night, but I’m going to go ahead and do it, because I’ve been feeling strange about it all day.
I got certified to fingerprint people in the state of Maryland last week and finger printed my second client this afternoon. He was a very nice young man of Peruvian descent (this is relevant— you’ll see why momentarily) and is going to start working in our schools starting on Monday.
When I do fingerprints, I have people fill out fields that indicate their sex, eye color, hair color and, yes, race. When a person of hispanic descent comes in, it is my duty to inform them that the FBI accepts only “white=W”, “black=B”, “native american=I” and “asian=A”. He wrote an L and I was forced to tell him that, according to the powers that be, there is no L. He would have to choose to be either black and white, depending on which he identified more closely with.
This issue, I told him unsmilingly, was black and white. Clear cut with nothing in between. No pun intended.
Just kidding. I would absolutely never say that.
I did have to tell him to choose B or W, though. He eventually chose B (mainly because it was easier to turn an L into a B than it was to turn an L into a W) and went about his merry business.
What. The. Fuck.